Zel-kun’s Words

The rhythmic tune of the waves against the shore did little to calm Doctor Fillmore, who sat on the narrow balcony overlooking the shore. The waters of the Pacific normally set his mind at ease, each wave lapping on the shore sending him into quiet musings. This time the sound only served to agitate him. His right hand scratched at the patch of grey that had begun to intrude into the brown hair of his temple. He attempted to read the day’s headlines in the paper, but the words blended together as his mind withdrew into the abyss of thought.

“It’s always about your damn job, isn’t it?” Rebecca’s voice echoed in his mind, “I’m so tired of sharing you with every criminal in the god damned state!  Mister big-shot profiler, too busy to spare one evening for your own fiancé!”

“Listen,” his voice echoed back, with a tone of strained calmness, “you are the most important thing in my life, but that doesn’t change the fact that my work is also important.” In retrospect, he imagined he could have responded differently, told her that he’d give up his job, maybe open up a quiet therapy practice where he counseled troubled couples. But he knew he could never settle for something so mundane.

Daniel looked past the paper, to the diamond ring sitting on the glass-topped table. Size eight and a half, a number burned into his mind. He had cautiously sized her finger while she slept, nearly cutting her finger with the flimsy paper sizing chart. That was six months ago, in a different age.

He knew it was over; the strained relationship had finally crumbled. There was no use lamenting it, he could only pick up the pieces and move on. He needed something to distract himself while his psyche recovered from last-night’s injury. As if on cue, the cell phone in his shirt pocket began to ring.

He sighed and opened his phone, a slim silver model bought on impulse, “Hello?”

“Is this Doctor Daniel Fillmore?” The voice on the other end was old and gruff, the voice of a long-time police officer. It seemed that after so many years on the force, everyone took on that same tone in their voice.

“This is,” Dan affirmed.

“This is Detective David Pierce of the Chicago Police Department,” the voice continued, “We were hoping to have your help on a series of murders here in Chicago.”

Dan stood as he reached for the gold-rimmed glasses on the table. For a moment he considered refusing the job, maybe sulking in his home and nursing his wounds for a few days. However, as he placed the glasses on his nose, he decided against it, regardless of his personal feelings; he had a job to do.

“I would be happy to help, detective,” he put on his most pleasant voice. On some level he became more at ease. His job he understood, it was women who confounded him. Besides, the job would send him to his hometown: Sweet Home Chicago.

Sorry about the delays in gettinga revised first installment of the Crusader out there.  Been pretty hectic at work, and shifting back to a daytime shift is playing heck with my internal clock.

Promise to get something up by Sunday.

In the meantime, REALLY busy at work.

Zel-kun out.

The darkness stretched out in every direction in front of me, I had no idea how I had gotten there, but there I was.  Moments before I had been driving along the Eisenhower expressway, cruising at a steady sixty-five miles an hour.  It was a rainy evening, but late enough to have missed all of the traffic.  It’s always in that sort of situation, during periods of calm concentration, that the darkness comes.

In the distance, a single ray of light broke through the darkness, illuminating a chair.  I approached the seat, it was black leather, the kind you see in those fancy modern cafes.

“Please, have a seat,” a voice spoke from the darkness.  It was a calm and understanding belonging to an obviously learned man.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Please, have a seat,” the voice repeated.

I did as the mystery voice asked, and sat in the chair.  It was comfortable, but not too comfortable.  I imagined I’d be squirming in it if I had to sit for too long.  I sat there for several minutes, the voice remained silent.  Finally, I spoke again, “Who are you?”

“So, you’re finally ready to ask that question?” the voice responded, “Though I would think that you of all people should know who I am.  After all, you think yourself fit to tell my story.”

“Dan?” I asked.

“You have called me that, yes,” the voice answered.  In front of me, a dim light, similar to the one surrounding me appeared, revealing the silhouette of a man sitting in a chair much like my own.  He was sitting with his right leg crossed over his left knee, and his head was tilted slightly to the right.

“But that’s not really your name,” I said, “I’ve never asked your full name.”

“You have not,” he responded in that same calm voice, it reminded me of a dozen different therapists I had when I was a child.  It was then that the light grew slightly brighter, revealing a small electronic device in his left hand, which he scribbled on with a stylus in his right.  It was a PDA, he was taking notes.

“You’re a psychologist,” I said.

“I do have a doctorate in psychology, yes.   But I work as a criminal profiler, investigating the criminal mind,” Dan answered, as he did the light grew once more, revealing a pair of thin gold-rimmed spectacles framing hazel eyes that were lost in thought.  His hair was light brown, but it had just begun to grey around his temples, he was older than I initially thought, but not by a whole lot, his face was unmarked by lines or wrinkles.

“You were born in 1974…” I breathed, the image of Doctor Daniel Fillmore grew clearer in front of me, “… left Chicago right after graduating high school in 1992,” Daniel nodded as I spoke, “You decided to major in psychology at the University of California in Santa Cruz.  After you got your masters, got your doctorate at UoC in San Francisco.”  I looked at the doctor for several moments, “You had a friend in the Santa Cruz police department, and you began offering assistance to him.  At first you did it for free, happy for the experience in analyzing the criminal mind.  After your insight led to some arrests, they began hiring you on as a consultant, and that’s how you earned your way through college.”

I could see everything clearly now, the room around me lit up to reveal that I was in a living room, sitting across from Daniel.  There was a creme carpet on the floor, and the room was bathed in orange sunlight streaming through a panoramic window that spanned the western wall.  Outside the pacific ocean stretched out as far as the eye could see.  When I looked out there, I knew I was in Monterey, California.

“So… you think I’m ready to tell your story?” I asked him.

“I think so.  But maybe you should start at the beginning.”  With that, the room faded and I was back on the road, just as I had started.

Though, I think I’m better for the journey.

Making some revisions on the first installment of The Crusader.

Hopefully you should see a new version up perhaps tomorrow.

That’s all for now.

Zel-kun out.

Well, I’ve been tossing this around in my head for quite some time, whether or not I should mix in fictional posts here on Zelkun.  I have given it a lot more thought since seeing that idea in action over on Carver’s Dog.

An aside:  Carver’s Dog is home to Rodger Jacobs, a writer in greater things than just a simple blog.  I stumbled upon it through Perrero, and have been reading it ever since.  His stories are often surreal, and have an unexpected twist at the end.  He can make what seems to be a boring story going nowhere suddenly spring to life in the course of a couple words.  Being able to surprise and delight your readers in this day and age takes a lot of talent.  In addition to that, some very lively discussions spring out of his stories, and he always responds to feedback.

I get lost in some of his tales.  As much as I pride myself on loving to read, I can honestly say I’ve only read a dozen authors or so.  Beyond that, my knowledge of authors past and present is scant at best.  Rodger oftentimes writes fiction starring different authors,  or at least touching on different literary names, namely Charles Bukowski.  Admittedly, before I began reading, I’d never heard of him.

Back to point: I’m not sure I could write flash fiction in the truest sense.  Creating a character and situation that only see a few paragraphs of life is something I don’t really see myself doing.  But, I think what I may do is write a series of posts that create a larger story.

For years I’ve had a story in my head (since college), and I think it’s finally time to let it out and breathe a bit.  I still have some aspirations of one day becoming a published writer, and honestly, this one isn’t on the potential list, but I love the story in its own right.  So Zelkun may be the perfect platform for it.

So here on Zelkun, I bring you, ‘The Crusader.’  The next post should be the first installment.

Also, a new link to Carver’s Dog can be found under the link Rodger Jacobs on the left-hand side.

Zel-kun out.

P.S. Happy birthday Rodger!

I’m working the night shift this week.

Funny, I never thought I’d be saying things like ‘night shift’ after I left the retail business.

Basically, we’re upgrading the whole Elgin facility to Windows XP, which is something we’ve been meaning to do for awhile.  And being most people here are gone at night, that’s the best time to do it.

To prepare, I woke up early this morning, and then took a long nap at about eleven in the morning.  I fell asleep with the Discovery Channel on, then meandered over to the bedroom (about ten feet away) forgetting to turn the TV off.  This is why, around three o’clock, I awoke to loud knocking and some guy frantically shouting, “Hello!? Is anyone there?!”

Being as my apartment doesn’t have a working doorbell, I leapt from bed thinking someone was pounding on my front door.  But, I realized as I walked to the window, was just some guy on the television.  Discovery has odd daytime programming.  There’s cool things like How It’s Made and Mythbusters, but then things get weird.

There’s Cash Cab, which is a game show.  I happen to like it, but it doesn’t seem to fit with the whole ‘Discovery’ thing.  Then there’s this show about ghosts… about two hours worth.  It’s melodramatic with a heavy psychic and supernatural slant, which doesn’t seem to match with a station dedicated to science and technology.

It was during this ghost show that I was woken up.

So, I drove the hour and a half to Elgin (it would have been SIGNIFICANTLY longer if it were rush hour), and walked to the IT room lovingly called the ‘Dungeon.’  It is my first time here, and I can see why they refer to it as such.  I head in the back door of the facility, which leads to a somewhat grimy room which is a dropoff point for old equipment.  Then I go downstairs to a labyrinthian series of dingy and small hallways.  The ceiling is no more than an inch or two above my head.  Finally, through a few locked doors, I get to the IT room, with a forbidding sign telling my authorized personnel only.  I swipe my badge and open the door.

Inside the walls are lined with computer equipment, all over the place.  Unlike my own office, there’s no storage rooms where such things are held.  Here they’re all over the place.  But being as only IT people dwell down here in this windowless room, it seems appropriate enough.

I’m here at night, and it feels empty and calm, despite the three other people in the desks near me.  But I realize that this is how it always is here in this room.  Day or night, it’s quiet and dark, hardly a sign of life other than the occasional click of a mouse from the neighboring desk.

It’s defninitely a change from what I’m used to.  It’s strange knowing that I had a 50/50 chance of getting the position here way back when.  Longer commute, and an office without sunlight… I dodged a bullet without even realizing it.

Zel-kun out.

A co-worker of mine sent me this link.

Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons & Dragons, who I owe the happiness of my late high school/college years to, is dead.

It is a sad day, I can safely say that that game taught me what it means to have friends, to be on a team, to work towards a goal. When you play video games, you’re just playing with your friends. But when you’re playing D&D, you’re working towards a goal. You need to have intelligence and charisma, you need to work together.

I guess it’s the same comradery that can be gained through being on a football team, the same reason why hitting that home run can be a great feeling. It’s because when you’re working together, you can accomplish something greater than yourself.

In your career, and your life… I guess that’s what it’s all about.

Goodbye Gary.

We’ll miss you.

Zel-kun out.

One of the true tests of a classic is the ability to still be an enjoyable experience years after it’s time.

Since acquiring my PSP, I haven’t really played many new games.  In fact, nearly every game I own is a remake.

I picked up Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth when I was at the EBGames saturday.  Valkyrie Profile is one of my favorite games, and perhaps one of the last Enix titles to be released before the merger with Squaresoft, so it still felt like an Enix title.

While it’s technically a remake, there isn’t any new content.  It’s basically a port that has been remastered to display on a wide screen, with some CGI FMV’s thrown in for good measure.  For someone like myself who was a fan of the original game, it was quite a treat.

VP was revolutionary in terms of story and gameplay.  While it was still turn-based combat, you were able to control all your characters simultaneously and create custom combos.  Each character is associated with a button, and pressing that button triggers the attack, so battle is played out more dynamically without losing the strategy of turn-based combat.

Unlike your typical ’save-the-world’ storyline, or the ‘I’m-too-badass-to-save-the-world’ storyline, VP let you play as a god.  More specifically, the goddess Lenneth Valkyrie (based on Norse Mythology).  Lenneth is something of a psychopomp, only instead of guiding the souls she takes to the afterlife, she trains them to fight in Ragnarok (the Norse apocaplypse).

Instead of the ‘go here, get stopped by obstacle, do dungeon, advance plot, repeat’ scheme, it’s more open-ended.  You meditate to reveal worthy souls and sources of corruption on Midgard (Earth), and you go to witness their final moments and cleanse the corruption.

Time is kept in ‘periods.’  Visiting places in Midgard take up periods.  A typical game has a set amount of periods based on the difficulty mode.  When the periods are up, the final battle takes place.

You can spend your time gathering souls and following the storyline, or simply running through various dungeons.  So if you already played through the game and just want the experience of the fighting and adventure, you can forego most of the plot.

Rendered in fluid 2d graphics, the game aged well since it came out.  Unlike early 3d that looks blocky and primitive, the late-era 2d graphics still look amazing.  Add to that the brilliant orchestrated compositions by Motoi Sakuraba (of Star Ocean fame), and it ends up being a rich experience.

So, if you have the means to either pick up a copy of Valkyrie Profile for PS1, or Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth for the PSP, I highly suggest doing so.

Zel-kun out.

To say that I’ve been busy would be an understatement.  I’ve been putting in some overtime and working in the field.  Sure, it makes the day go by, but can be a hinderer to updating.  So I apologize for worrying my online friends with my disappearances.  This is actually the first time I sat in front of my computer at home in a few days.  I also noticed quite a pile of mail piling up on the corner of my desk here.  Quite an accomplishment, being as I don’t even get stacks of paper on my desk at work.

I’m going through the papers, and the cat is going crazy chasing my shadow cast by my desk lamp.  For some reason, watching a cat climbing up a wall never seems to lose its entertainment value.  Although, I honestly could do without her climbing up my desk chair and my reading chair here in my study, arguably the nicest pieces of furniture I own.

My reading chair is a nice white winged-back easy chair complete with ottoman that my grandmother gave me as a moving-out present.  Sure it was a hand-me-down, but it is in pristine condition, like all things from that house.  My desk chair is a high-backed executive-style chair, one of the few chairs in the world I can be comfortable in.  It truly is a shame I don’t sit in it more these days.

I always get these credit card offers in the mail.  It’s bad enough to have them clogging up your mailbox, but now the credit card companies fancy themselves spies.  They attempt to sneak into my home masquerading as legitimate pieces of mail.  They’ll come in plain envelopes and even spell my name correctly.  Sometimes there will be an official-looking ‘dated material’ stamped on top.  I guess they’re going with the spam theory that if I’m tricked to open it, not only will I NOT be upset at being tricked, I will be duped into applying for another credit card.

If that’s not bad enough, even my bank tries to offer me a credit card.  I already have a credit card through my bank, so it’s easy to see a letter and think it’s something important.

Et tu bank?

I also got a booklet telling me to enroll in the 2008 benefits for my company.  That dates are in October of ‘07.  Good to know.

Got my last free issue of Game Informer too.  I got it when I applied for my EBGames discount card, which I’ve used a total of one time.   I used to be an avid reader of both GamePro and Game Informer.  But in this age of the internet, the magazine just seems archaic and awkward.  I can get the latest game news instantly, and see years and years of game reviews any time I want.  With a magazine, it’s once a month, and usually only one review per game.  The kicker is the price tag that comes on every issue.

Also have my W-2… I should probably do those taxes soon…

Welp, hope you enjoyed the journey through the crap on my desk.

Maybe I should have titled this post ‘Zel-kun’s Mailbag Special?’

Zel-kun out.

Well, I never thought I’d be one of those people, but it ended up being my idea.

The planning of the wedding was becoming increasingly stressful for Zai.  It was to the point that the mere mention of the wedding would send her spiraling into frustration and depression.

She had a giant family, and despite our wishes, every single one was insisting on coming to the wedding.

So I suggested we elope.  We go to Vegas and have a wedding there, to get away from everything and just enjoy ourselves.  She liked this idea and smiled for the first time ever while thinking about the wedding.  We’d decided we could have a small and tasteful ceremony there, stay in a nice hotel for a few days, and maybe catch a show or two.

It sounds like it’s going to be very memorable.

Zel-kun out.