Zel-kun’s Words

The whole reason for going to Vegas, the wedding.  I didn’t really think about being married until about two days before the fact.  Afterwards, it started to hit me.  It still feels a little odd to say “my wife” or to think that I’m actually someone’s husband.  But, here I am in any case, and am definitely happier for it.  I’ve come a long way since working at Wal-Mart and living in my father’s basement.  And as I look towards the future, I still have a ways to go.

Anyhow, on to the wedding review!

The License:

We drove through Las Vegas following vague directions to the place where we were to get our marriage license.  After twenty minutes of driving through the seediest areas of downtown Las Vegas for nearly an hour, I pulled out my phone with the GPS, the FREE GPS provided by my job.  Yeah, I sometimes space out a little.

The GPS led us to a closed road, but following the map on the phone, we were able to go around it and finally found the place.  It was nearly pitch black and nearly midnight, only minutes before the place closed.  Some guy leaning against a building across the street looked at us funny, then turned away.  I could understand why Zai’s mother locked the van the second we got out.

We got in and bought our license, as we were the only people there.  As we were about to leave, three couples sauntered in the door.  I guess midnight is a popular time for marriage…

Lost in seedy areas, but ultimately we found our destination: C

Preparation:

Much of the preparation was done before we left for Vegas.  I went out and bought a tailored suit, because I wanted to actually have a properly fitting suit for once.  Being my height and my weight, it can be difficult to find things that fit me well.  Zai of course bought her wedding dress twenty-three years ago, and has been keeping it in the closet ever since.  She tried it on about a week before we were to leave, and found it didn’t quite fit.  So, she needed a new wedding dress exactly like the old one.  There’s about eight thousand nuances to this that I’m sure she’ll be happy to relate on her MySpace page (sure to contain many photos of me in a suit looking doofy), but I’ll just say she became quite stressed and irritable.  Try as I might, I could not avoid her wrath.  I fear the wounds will never heal…

The day of the wedding was no different.  She was running all over Vegas getting her hair done (in some gorgeous curls, might I add), and I spent most of the morning watching TV in our hotel room.  Eventually, I decided to get ready, trying to use the razor Zai’s sister bought to replace the razor I had lost during the trip.  Twenty minutes in, the stubble on my face was still there and the razor was rendered inoperable by the hair stuck in it (unlike my own Mach 3, it did not have a backless cartridge, so rinsing the blades out was nearly impossible).  Another search of my luggage, and I found that my razor had indeed survived.  Finally, I could shave.

I put on my suit and grabbed my tie.  I realized at this point that I had no idea of how to tie a tie.  I grabbed Zai’s laptop and hopped on a free wi-fi network, I then bounced across several websites, most of which had vague directions at best.  Finally, half an hour of staring in the mirror later, my tie was tied.

Go me.

Oddly enough, Zai’s cousin’s boyfriend also did not know how to tie a tie, and I ended up tying his tie for him.  (Have I said tying and tie enough yet?  Can I stop now?)

But, even with Zai’s stress and my ignorance, we managed to get ready: C

The Ride:

We rode to the wedding in style, in a big black limousine.  It was the first time I had ever been in a limo, and it was pretty nice.  I didn’t really have time to enjoy it, as five minutes after we left, I realized I had forgotten something.

Something mildly important…

THE RINGS.

Needless to say, we had the chauffeur do a U-turn across the congested Las Vegas Boulevard and ran back to the Paris.  I ran through the lobby barely dodging crowds of seemingly lost patrons, hopping onto the elevator.  I hit 26, and nothing happened.  The guy next to me hit 25, and we began ascending.  I continued to hit 26, and that number would not light up.  Finally we got to 25 and the elevator opened.  Try as I might, I couldn’t get the elevator to go up one more floor.  I didn’t have time to think about it, as the doors closed and I began heading down again.

Once at the bottom, I ran for another elevator and finally got to 26.  I ran to our room, snatched the rings, and ran back.  In true movie fashion, I nearly ran into an old woman, a blind guy, and a giant luggage rack (I am not making this up, it’s like they were drawn to me).  As I raced towards the exit, for some reason the fast-paced instrumentals of Metallica’s ‘Master of Puppets’ were stuck in my head.  I opened the door and saw the limo.  But despite my extreme hurry (were were nearly fifteen minutes late to our own wedding), I held the door open, because an old man was wheeling his wife towards the door.  I guess even in times of duress, there’s no excuse for bad manners…

Finally, though, we were off: A (for sheer memorable value)

The Ceremony:

I arrived and only Zai’s parents were in front.  I asked them if they were the only ones there, and they said ‘yes.’

Well crap.

I called my father, who told me he couldn’t find the place.

Double crap.

And then in true dad-fashion, told me he was in the chapel.

He’s a REAL funny guy.

When we got in, Zai was pulled aside for a photo shoot, and I met with the minister.  I was then asked who my Best Man would be.  My first thought was my brother, so I peeked my head into the main chapel, and didn’t see him.  While pacing through the halls, I peeked in again and again, and still didn’t see him.  I thought he was coming about, but figured something must have come up.  He’s been working very sporadically, and figured maybe he got called away at the last moment.

Finally, Pete walked in.  I hadn’t seen Pete in years, it was really good to see him.  I thought he wasn’t coming either since my last ten calls to him while I was pacing the halls went unanswered.  He responded, “Oh, is that what that sound was?”

Truly, the people I know are a laugh riot.

After one more look inside, seeing my parents but no sign of my brother, I decide to make Pete my Best Man.  I kinda put him on the spot, and for that I apologize to him.  He was a very good second choice, however.  He is easily the best friend I know, and my respect for him is nearly unrivaled.

I walk into the main chapel to begin the ceremony, Zai at my side, and after I pass the door, I see my brother’s head.

Well crap.

I let him know later on that he was my first choice… I hope he didn’t feel too slighted.  I’m sorry Josh.

The ceremony itself was a blur, I was very nervous through the whole thing.  All I remember is that we lit a unity candle, and that Zai looked even more beautiful than usual, something I had previously thought was impossible.

Afterwards, I had a ring on my finger, and I was a married man: A

The photo shoot:

We had a very demanding photographer who insisted I twist my neck in odd positions and hold very unnatural poses for long periods of time.  I had to hold several kisses with Zai for several moments.  Not that kissing Zai is a bad thing, but after the fourth “Now kiss!  Now hold it for an hour!” is was feeling a little awkward.  Truly, the awkward moment came as I left the main chapel and my mother gave me a hug and a kiss.  He asked us to do it again, and then shouted ‘hold it!”

I’m sorry, but holding a prolonged kiss with my mother?  Not that kind of family, Mr. Photographer.

Afterwards, we were then offered these pictures (most of them horrible) for the low price of five hundred dollars.  Zai and I did not want most of them, but our families insisted, to the point of putting their money together to buy them.  My father tried to get the price to come down, but was stymied by everyone’s willingness to jump at the price.  To all who pitched in, thank you.  I’m sure in ten years, I’ll be glad that I have those pictures, and didn’t simply walk away from the memories.

All in all, it was one long awkward moment: D

The reception:

We ate dinner at Maggiano’s, which was exceedingly fun.  The food was delicious, and Pete went around snapping both candid and posed pictures, both feeling very natural.  He’s a far better photographer than he gives himself credit for.  He also has a CD of the wedding pictures he says he can edit and make them look amazing.  I fully believe he can do just that.  As the exchange between him and my father went:

Pete: I can make it look like a zebra and a chimpanzee got married.

Dad: Could you make it look like they didn’t?

Not a whole lot to say about the reception.  Funny about when things go well, there just isn’t much of a story: A

And there you have it, my wedding in a nutshell.  Both the good and the bad came together for a very memorable experience.  I wouldn’t change a damn thing… well, maybe I would have walked further inside the chapel so I could have seen my brother and made him the Best Man…

Zel-kun out.