Zel-kun’s Words

It amazes me that the more populated the area, the less people seem to notice each other.  In the country, people will stop and wave to you, even engage in conversation.  It doesn’t matter that you’re a stranger, you’re another human being.

In the suburban areas, that’s less true.  Sometimes your neighbors might wave or engage in polite conversation, but nothing so much as waving or conversing with strangers.  If they see your vehicle disabled or you’re in some type of trouble, they will help, however.  People have offered me rides to the gas station when my car broke down, and have helped me push my car when I’ve foolishly ran out of gas.

In the city, there is little contact with your neighbors (if I’m lucky, I can get a good morning), and absolutely no contact with strangers.  People isolate and distance themselves in public.  There’s no eye contact, and speech is avoided if possible.  I originally attributed this to my living in a Mexican neighborhood, but the same is true in the other neighborhoods I’ve noticed.

It’s sad, but maybe it’s a necessary defense mechanism against beggars and con-men.  Admittedly, I had to develop this same defense.  When I first went to the city, I gave change to a beggar and told him I didn’t have any money if I didn’t.  That just invites further conversation and confrontation.

“No money at all?  Just some change?  Maybe a dollar?  I have to feed my kids.”  They’ll go on and on.  I feel sorry for the homeless, but you can find something besides begging to do.  There’s a morning show in Chicago which has repeatedly tried to find homeless people jobs.  Each time, the homeless people would be excited, and listeners of the show would call in offering them jobs and temporary shelter.

So far, no one has actually stepped up and TAKEN the job.

So make of that what you will.

So when this morning, I stopped to gas up my car, I saw a man pushing his car into the station.  He had apparently ran out of gas, and was pushing it with one arm and steering with the other.  From experience, this is the world’s most difficult task.  It is made more difficult by the fact that the station is up a small incline.

My first instinct was to avoid the situation altogether.  But then I saw a few men on the corner looking at this poor guy trying to push his car in.  I saw him push the car a few inches, and the car would roll back.  He needed help, so I overcame that little ‘defense mechanism’ and ran over to him.  It only took a minute of my time to get behind the car and push it up the incline to the pump.

So a moment out of my busy day was enough to make someone else’s just a little better.

I remember when I broke down on the tollway (my fuel pump was dying), I was far from home, at least an hour to any friends or family, and it was 9:00 at night.  I didn’t have a cell phone, and spent about half an hour or so backtracking and climbing a steep hill to the tollbooth office.  No one there was the least bit willing to help me, they wouldn’t even tell me where the nearest payphone was.  After another twenty minutes of stumbling around in the dark, I found a payphone on the road.  I called my brother, and went back to my car.

I stood by my vehicle for over an hour with the emergency lights on, and even though hundreds of cars passed, not a single one stopped.

We tend to avoid people in need because we feel that someone else is bound to help.  It’s called social diffusion.  Everyone thinks someone else will help to the point where no one does.  I write this with the hope that next time you see someone in need of help, drive by a broken-down auto on the road, maybe you’ll take a few moments to help.

Because if you don’t, there’s a good chance no one will.

Zel-kun out.