Zel-kun’s Words

I finally had the opportunity to play God of War on Sunday.  Yes, the first one, not the second one.  I’m a bit behind the times, so sue me.

Zai’s cousin shipped the game to me, mere days after she had returned to Texas.  She heard I hadn’t played it, and sought to rectify that situation.  She is a woman of her word, and I respect the hell out of that.

So God of War… what can I say about it?  Basically, you’re this guy, Kratos, who is a champion of the gods of Olympus, and you’re given the mission to kill Aries, the god of war.  You have these huge daggers attatched to your arms with chains, and you whip these all over the screen to destroy your enemies.  There are even some enemies that buttons will flash over, and if you hit those buttons in correct timing, you will do very gory things.

I have jammed blades down minotaurs throats, I have ripped the heads off of gorgons, and I have even impaled a hydra on the broken mast of a ship.  I was fighting in the town square of Athens, panicking townsfolk fleeing everywhere.  There’s a giant monster with a mace, and the circle button appears over his head.  I hit it, but accidently grab a citizen, pick him up by his neck, and repeatedly stab him in the chest.  Add to that the fact that every time I swing my daggers around, inevitably some poor saps get caught in the crossfire and die.  Also add that I have seen legions of soldiers and crowds crushed by falling debris, and I come to this conclusion…

This is the most violent game I have ever played.

I have fought zombies in an abandoned mansion in Raccoon City.
I once needed to kill rioting townsfolk, including women and children, when they found out I was from an enemy nation.
With a rotting arm, I beat back undead minions.
I once stood upon the wreckage of a broken world, and squared off against a madman on top of a tower of debris, to save the few people that survived the destruction of the world.
I watched a tyrant systematically murder an entire village and burn it to the ground whilst he laughed.

And at no time did I ever see the sheer scope of violence this game has shown me. But, when I see the storyline, and the epic scale of the battle being waged, the violence seems utterly nessessary, to convey the depth of danger the world is in. And the game does that pretty well, and for that I commend the designers. When I turned the corner and saw a thousand story tall god stomping his feet into an army and seeing millions of arrows bouncing off his flesh, I knew just how difficult the task ahead of me is.

And aside from all the violence, brains are needed. Each monster has a strategy, some utilizing the environment. And there is the occasional puzzle thrown in for good measure. Nothing too difficult, but enough to give my fingers a rest from the constant fighting.

An interesting thing the game does is ‘checkpoints.’ Checkpoints are invisible points between battles and puzzles. When you finish up a group of enemies, new checkpoint. Even between stages in the boss fights. So if you die fighting the final hydra head (as I did), you get to start off at the beginning of the final hyrdra head, instead of starting the whole fight over. This becomes more nessessary when you realize just how quickly you can die.

I jumped, got caught in a gorgon beam, turned to stone, and the impact with the ground killed me. One second, and I go from full health to dead. I’m climbing a wall, and an enemy leaps onto me and pulls me down with him, dead. These checkpoints become invaluable as they start you off at a point minutes before you died, instead of at that savepoint on the other end of town.

So far, it seems to be a very well-designed, challenging, and fun game. My hats off, I look forward to seeing how the game unfolds.

Zel-kun out.

Well, its friday, not much to say about that.

Wish it would hurry by so I can be out of work.  That’s right, still nine hours of work left, and already I’m counting the minutes.

I managed to score a desk from the guys that do all the furniture in the building.  It looks pretty good, and will look even better in my study.  As today is June 1st, there’s only a few weeks left until I officially move out on my own.

‘Here I go again on my own…
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known…
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone…’

Okay, so maybe the song doesn’t really apply to my situation, being as this is the first time I’ve moved out, and with Zai, I’m not exactly walking alone.  But its in my head right now, so there.

I have to give credit to the hundreds of spammers that plague my site, they make me laugh.

Example one:

‘Jennifer Lopez’s Ass Revitalisation [sic]‘

They have Jennifer Lopez there, who is famous I guess.  But then you have two words after it.  I’m not entirely sure what ‘Ass Revitalization’ is supposed to be.  Is her ass being revitalized?  Or is she marketing her ass as a treatment to revitalize us all?  Truly worth clicking on the link, no?

Example two:

‘porcupine dungeon 92′

If there were two words I never expected to be together, it is porcupine dungeon.  The 92 after is makes it seem like a movie or game series.  Though I’m not sure what hero would not only find a porcupine dungeon, but then endeavor to venture into it on ninety-two occasions.  Isit a dungeon infested with porcupines?  Built by porcupines?  Perhaps it is made OUT of porcupines?  Guess I’ll have to click the link.

Example three:

‘free sofa sex’

More direct, to be sure.  Your classic spam tends to have ‘free’ and ’sex’ in it.  But there’s that middle word.  Is there a demand for ’sofa sex?’  Do people normally charge for this?  And how do the sofas feel about being involved?

Seriosuly, let’s give the sofas and porcupines a break.  What’d they ever do to you, spammers?

Zel-kun out.