Zel-kun’s Words

Before I begin, I just want to say that choosing this final tribute was a toughie. There are many people I know who are equally deserving of a tribute, but I limited myself to five because I’m not writing ‘Zel-kun’s super fantastic terrific tribute page.’

At a glance, other people deserving of tribute: Sarah, Jeff S., Asuka, Dave, and Nick.

And now, on with the final tribute!

*cue ‘real men of genius’ muzak*

Today I salute you, Kyle, man about town. There are people who believe the age of adventuring and exploration has long passed. You are not one of those people. Wearing your khaki shirt and pith helmet, you forge your way through the unknown, or at least, the recently abandoned. With a room full of exploration gear, you look upon it with sadness knowing that if the police caught you with that pistol, that rifle, or that machete, you’d have some ’splainin’ to do, you Anthropomorphic Adventurer.

Most people, when they find the door to the county courthouse unlocked at 2:00am, they walk away. You (and me, for that matter) walk inside to see what’s going on.

So, kick back with an obscure beverage of your choice, and polish your pistol (so totally not innuendo), because that abandoned school sure as hell ain’t going to explore itself.

Zel-kun out.

Today I salute you, Jeff, director of technology, founder of companies, owner of swords, eater of sandwiches, and mentor of a young boy you swept off a dirty Wal-Mart floor.

That’s right, while other companies looked at inane stuff like ‘experience’ and ‘certifications’, you didn’t want any of that.  You gave me my first IT job,  I fully acknowledge I was given the job, because my experience hardly warranted it, making it very hard to be irreverent to you in this salute.

From active directory to email administration, you taught me it all, you taught me because you knew I was capable of learning, and that knowledge has carried me onward in my career even after I was laid off.

So sit down, and blast away some things in Enemy Territory, all the while muttering obscenities, because if you’re not there to nuke the n00bs, who would be?

Zel-kun’s note (in all seriousness):

I’m not sure many of my friends know of this person, and I highly doubt he reads this site, as I have lost contact with Jeff a couple years ago.  But he deserves his salute here nonetheless.  If Pete would be acceredited with helping me find my path in life, Jeff was the one who led me down it.  Working for him was enlightnening and enjoyable.  And there’s something to be said about a boss who has you set up a game server to teach you the basics of networking.  So, wherever you are Jeff, I raise a drink in fond remembrance.

*solemn toast*

Zel-kun out.

Today I salute you, Zaida, dyer of hair, painter of things, obsessor of hampsters, and drinker of even more martinis than James Bond.  Where would I be without your charm, your compassion, and your fashion influence?  Chances are I wouldn’t know the names ‘Dolce & Gabana’ or ‘YSL’ … wait… this is a tribute…

*ahem*

What other girl can hear the phrase “I just ran BFD, but the damn warrior kept breaking sheep and getting adds, then he needed on a caster blue,” and understand what the hell it means?  That’s right, you are a gamer girl, that rare species of girl that has been hunted to extinction.  While other girls are too busy with pink barbie dolls and discussing which boy bands rock out loud, you’re ripping the head off a vampire-hunter with your Malkavian warrior.  With stats, guns, swords, and magic, you cut a path of destruction and chaos through your enemies, come out covered in viscera, and you love every damn moment of it.

Screw those unicorns, you have ghouls.  And if those pansy-ass frilly girls give you any grief, you simply unleash your army of zombie-hampsters on them because that’s the way you roll, you Punisher of Prada.

So mix yourself a drink with ingredients so sweet it’d give a care bear diabetes, then add enough vodka to make a Czar jealous, because you CAN, and then fawn over the latest fashions you can buy on the auction house for your newly level 50 warlock.  Because if you need to summon demons and suck the souls out of the unfortunate fools that cross you, you might as well look good while doing it.

(yet even more real men women of genius music)

Zel-kun out.

Today I salute you, Paul, player of Gamecube, maker of chili, owner of a swamp you like to call your backyard, and sayer of enough puns to give Groucho Marx a headache.  Where would I be without your humor, your honesty, and your loyalty?  Chances are I’d have gone horribly insane from boredom.

That’s right, when I want to know what to do on a weekend, what friend I should call, chances are its you, oh owner of enough gameboys to build a small fort out of.  Who else can watch a DVD, play Zelda, roll dice in an RPG campaign, check his WoW auctions, AND deepfry a giant pile of cheesesticks and chicken, all while yelling at his dogs?  Yes you are truly unique, you Perpetuator of the Pun.

So open a non-carbonated beverage of your choice, sit, play some WoW and get yelled at by your wife, because after all, if you don’t dismantle four hundred and eighty-seven advanced target dummies to get that one fused wiring, who will?

(more ‘Real Men of Genius’ background music)

Zel-kun out.

Today I salute you, Pete, man of California, eater of sunflower seeds, wearer of sandals, webmaster of Zelkun.com, and imbiber of enough Dr. Pepper to sink the Titanic. Where would I be without your insight, intelligence, and sarcasm so thick I once almost crashed my car into a blizzard of it?

Chances are I’d still be at Wal-Mart.

When my Compaq (devourer of souls) broke, as it did every other hour, you were there to laugh at me. You chuckled and you grinned, but most importantly, you helped me fix that piece of garbage, time and time again. You showed me how to stop being a computer user, and start being a computer administrator. With a swift kick in the ass, you sent me off down the road of IT which is why you earned this spot in tribute week, you Commodore of the Computer.

So sit back, relax, and pop open an ice-cold can of Dr. Pepper, because after all, if you don’t drink it, who will?

Imagine the ‘Real Men of Genius’ music and voice over from those Bud Light commercials.

I know I did.

Zel-kun out.

That’s right, this week, once a day, I am going to pay tribute to someone.  This could be anyone, it could even… be YOU.  The reason for this is that I’ve been in a pretty damn good mood this past week (for obvious reasons), and maybe by by writing this, I can convey a little of that feeling to those who have helped me down this road called life.

Besides, if you’re like me, (and I KNOW you are) you like when someone talks about you on the internet (hopefully praisingly).  So, without furth ado…

Okay, maybe a little ado…

I give you, Tribute Week!

Zel-kun out.

Well, my first week at Verizon went off without a hitch.  Well, aside from me still sorting out various user ID and security clearance issues.  I must have about a dozen ID’s to remember at this point…  Other than that, its been pretty nice.

I haven’t done much software work, but I’ve been doing loads of hardware fixes.  This is good because I could use more experience taking apart these machines we like to call computers.  I even got a chance to replace a few motherboards and processors, which was a new experience.  It has been a long time since I’ve just sat and took something apart, and I gotta say I enjoyed it.  Hell, most of my childhood was taking things apart and seeing how they worked.

Not much in other news.  Adjusting myself to waking up at 6:00 in the morning and not getting home until about 7:00 (traffic to Schaumburg is horrible), is sapping all my energy, I’m at the point where I just crash and burn after work.  This week should be a lot better than that, as my internal clock adjusts.

Well, enough of that.

Zel-kun out.

I actually typed this one out months ago, but a glitch in the network caused the whole post to be obliterated.  I guess its finally time to giver ‘er another go, eh?

I give you, the Mountain Grove Saga:

Awhile back, I was on the road for TekSystems, doing some work for U.S. Cellular.  (those of you who read The St. Louis Chronicle already know this)  This had me going to some pretty interesting places.  Though I suppose no place is as interesting as Mountain Grove, Missouri.

By the name, one can deduce that its a village in the middle of nowhere.  One would be quite correct in that deduction.  Miles and miles of wilderness and rain (it was rainy during my entire stay in Missouri.  If it wasn’t raining, it was either about to, or just had), broken only by the narrow highway that bore right through valleys of rock.  It was a long drive, accompanied by my Creedence Clearwater CD’s, which seemed all the more appropriate on this particular stretch of road.

I drive to a tiny bit of town which consisted of a bowling alley, a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Best Western.  I couldn’t even see houses, they may have been hidden in the forested hills which surrounded the tiny oasis of civilization.  I stretch to call it civilization, its like a tiny slice of a real town had been cut out in 1980, and was then deposited into the hills.

Usually, my accomodations were handled by fax, so all I needed to do was check in.  This place didn’t have a fax machine, so I had to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed later.  So of course, internet was out of the question.  I sat in my room, watching the local FOX affiliate.  There was no cable, so after nine, there was very little to watch.  My cell phone, which had served me royally my entire time on the road, was showing zero bars in this desolate place.  I deeply regretted World of Warcraft being the only game I had brought with me from home.  Without the internet, all I had was a fancy icon on my desktop, hanging solemnly beneath the equally useless ‘Internet Explorer’ icon.

I then discover something interesting, I see the little wireless internet icon glowing in the corner of my screen.  I had found the wireless network ‘Bestwest1′.  Well hot damn!  I open the browser and am redirected to the Best Western homepage, asking me for my network password.  (its very common for hotel wireless networks, they give you a number to put in so their gateway actually lets you out to the internet)  Elated, I go to the front desk and ask what the password is.

“We don’t have internet.”   The weary-eyed woman responds.

“But, its called ‘BestWest1′, it links me to your homepage, your motel has a wireless network.”  I insist.

“No, we don’t have the internet, sorry,” the moronic woman repeats, obviously clueless.

I sigh and return to my room.  Out of curiousity, I type my room number as the password, and it works, I am on the internet.  I wanted to carry the laptop over to the front desk and show it to her, but I decided against it.  It was late, and I had things to kill in World of Warcraft.  Besides, I needed my rest for what would happen the next day…

With directions to my next site in hand, I leave Mountain Grove, jubilant in my mood because after this site, I go to Jefferson City, where I would spend the next week.  A week in a city of food and internet was definitely going to be better than the rural land I’ve been entrenched in for the past week.

I drive through the hills, past farms, and through forests.  I make my final turn and follow the road down for 5 miles, as the directions state, and slowly look around for anything that might be the site I’m looking for.  I see an old beat-up sign on the fence of a pasture, telling me not to tresspass, that the land belongs to U.S. Cellular.  I see that a ways into the pasture is a cellular tower and a tiny shack at its base.  I shrug my shoulders, open the gate, and drive on in.

It was wet, as it had just rained earlier in the morning (I was in Missouri, as stated before, its always raining), so I had to drive slowly, as the road was more mud than gravel.  I had to stop for a moment as I waited for a cow to get out of my way, and continured to the little fenced-in facility.

Its obvious I’m the only one there, and there’s no way I can get in as the fence surrounding the tower is heavily locked.  This wouldn’t be the first time I had to go to an unmanned facility, oftentimes a tech from the area would be by to let me in and do my work, so I leaned against the car and waited… in the middle of a cow pasture… on a chilly and wet Missouri morning.  The whole thing felt a tad surreal.

A half-hour passes, and no one comes, so I pull out my cell phone.  Oddly enough, I have full signal (I AM standing right next to a tower), and I call my project manager.

“Hey Scott, how’re you doing?”

“Hey, how’s the site coming along?”

“I can’t get in, its locked.”

“No one’s there?”  He asks, in that somewhat befuddled manner that can only be achieved by a manager who has already dealt with way too many problems.
“Nope.”

“Hang on…” The phone goes silent a moment.

“Hello?” a gruff voice asks.

“Hello Bob (honestly can’t remember his name, so I’m calling him Bob),” Scott says, “I’m here with my tech who’s supposed to be visiting your site today.  And he says he’s there and can’t get in.”

“He’s here?  I don’t see him.  You sure he’s at the right place?”

“Well, there’s a lot of cows, and a tower.  Along route 35 (can’t remember the road either, let’s call it route 35)?”

There’s a momentary pause, “That’s our remote site, the main switch is about 35 miles south of there.”  I smack my forehead, I was given the wrong address.  And now I was standing in the middle of a cow pasture, as it began to drizzle, in Missouri.

So, I get the right address, and the right directions, and say my goodbyes to the tech and my project manager.  I get in my car and step on the gas… and go absolutely nowhere.  The left rear tire was stuck in the mud.  I knew that if I didn’t get out of there soon, not only would the project be thrown off schedule, but I would lose my sanity.  Already I thought I saw the cows mocking me as I was stuck in the mud.  I put the car in neutral, and step out.  I step behind the car and do my best to push the car out of its little mud hole and back onto some firmer gravel.  My nice dress shoes sink into the mud but I manage to push it just a little.  I get back in, and with a mighty heave, the spinning tires throwing mud onto my trunk, the car moves forward and I leave the cow pasture, heading for an even more remote location…

Down deserted roads and through a thick forest I drive.  I head along the road as it spirals upward, as I begin to see more of the surrounding area below me.  I am driving up a large hill (or a small mountain?  it was pretty large), and the view was actually pretty spectacular.  Even with the fogginess, I could see for miles across the hills and forests.  Its a pity I didn’t have my camera.  Finally I reach the top, next to a ranger station is the site, and the tech who sees my muddy feet and muddy car and laughs.  He knows exactly where I’ve been.

I am led in to the small and cramped site.  It was once manned, but now operates automatically, a layer of dust on the desks at the front.  It was almost sad in appearance.  But I opened my laptop, and set to work, as the tech sat in his chair and went over some papers.

“Oh, before I forget,” he says, “Watch out for scorpions, they sometimes get in here.”

Well that’s just super…

Well, I didn’t see any scorpions, which is definitely positive, and the site was small so I finished in a few hours, also a good thing.  I finally was able to get in my car and leave the wilderness behind.  I’ll miss the view, granted, but I will not miss Mountain Grove.

Or the cows…

I hate those cows…

Zel-kun out.

Well, as the title reads, it was my first day today. Traffic was good and I arrived about half an hour early. This meant my contact wasn’t even there yet, so I got to wait in the parking lot for awhile. I looked at the large building, some fifteen stories tall, with a sense of fear. It was in that building where I would start my next job, in that building where I will be employed for the next year.

I stare at the building, wondering how the job will be, what the people will be like, and if will I be able to handle it. That last bit was something I never used to worry about. I tackled all my previous jobs head on, and I did well at them. I did my work with the confidence of a man who knew what he was doing, and could learn what he didn’t know.

I have just very recently found out I have lost this confidence. I found it out when I landed this job. Every time I thought about entering the building (oftentimes I’d start thinking as I’m trying to sleep), of meeting my new co-workers and new boss, I thought of the time I spent at XSport and Sentinel. And, as unjustified as I feel they were for letting me go, one fact remains the same: I was fired. I gave the job my all, and it wasn’t good enough. And of course, this leads down a very bad path of thought, the path I’ve been walking this last week.

So I meet with my contact at Verizon, and we head on up to the eleventh floor where the IT department is. We wait for the IT Director to let us into the office area, me standing there in my dress slacks and sport coat (why they call it a sport coat, I have no idea), waiting to make my first impression to my new boss. I was relieved to see a man in a polo shirt and a pair of jeans introducing himself. A casual atmosphere is far more my element than a stuffy office.

I spend the day shadowing the techs and setting up my workstation, and they seem pretty friendly and down to earth. When lunch came, the boss treated me to lunch, which I’ve always seen as a pretty good indicator of what kind of company you’re working for. For the record, Sentinel and XSport never bought me lunch.

We went to this place called the Applewood Smokehouse, and the tech team ate leisurely, I noticed. There was no, “oh, we’d better hurry and eat and get back to work.” (another sign of the kind of company you’re working for, whether or not lunch actually exists) We were there for a little over an hour as we ate, and walked back to the building. When we got back, we took the elevator to the eleventh floor. It stopped at the eleventh floor, the doors didn’t open, then it went to the twelfth floor and stopped for a few minutes without the doors opening. Apparently, odd elevator behavior like that is perfectly normal in this building. I got a good laugh out of it.

All in all, it was an okay day. I didn’t really do any actual work, so I can’t say its a good indicator of what the work environment is really like. But, there’s friendly people and a relaxed atmosphere, so I have some high hopes. And hopefully after a year of this, my time at XSport will fade into the *ahem* horizon.

Zel-kun out.

I received some welcome news today.  I had an interview last week for a PC Tech job over at Verizon Wireless, which I felt went okay enough.  I’m never really a good judge on how well an interview went, I’m usually too nervous to think.  On the plus side, with only one exception, every job I’ve interviewed for, I was offered.  So I guess I must have SOME redeeming quality in my interviews.  Don’t know what it is, I’ll tell you when I find out.

Those who know me, know I’ve been scrimping together dozens of paychecks from the one and two day jobs I get every week, budgeting and planning for that occasional week I work only one day, so a steady job is a more than welcome development.

In other news, I found a working used copy of Suikoden III, and have played through it to its conclusion.  The ending was… okay, but it didn’t make all that much sense.  Add to that your last four stars (people you recruit) are bad guys who you only get to play for about twenty minutes after the game ended, and I wasn’t entirely pleased.  This is strange because I can’t count how many times I wanted to experience a game from the villain’s point of view, to find out motives, see what the backstory is, a look behind the scenes.  This little bonus scenario failed utterly in that respect.  What you get it to see many of the same scenes you ALREADY saw from the heroes’ perspective, along with a couple conversations which don’t reveal anything you didn’t already know.

I can’t say I’ve been more ambivalent about any other game.  Its a great game, but it just fell short of what it could have been.  From the dilapidated castle you called your home, to the dozens of ananswered questions, and the very questionable military strategy you are forced to utilize, the whole game feels incomplete.

I find myself playing through Suikoden IV now, which is lauded as the worst game in the series.  I think I would have to agree.  The plot is lackluster and spaced out with hours of sailing, it just doesn’t have that epic Suikoden feel I’m used to.  On the plus side, the battle system has been simplified, and there’s dozens of entertaining minigames (I find myself quite addicted to this Mah Jong’esque minigame), so actually playing through it is fun.  And once you discover that pressing R1 makes your ship go a lot faster, the sailing isn’t all that bad.  Still takes awhile, but is a lot less time-consuming.

I get a new job, and write to short paragraphs, I beat a game, and I can fill a page… I wonder if I have my priorities straight…

Well, that’s all for now.

Zel-kun out.